Single mom dating younger man
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Between one day, you find yourself lying by the resort pool in his waterfront building, half-drunk at noon and wondering where your kid is. Some women are quite capable of living independently in modern society my sister, my mother, my girlfriend while some men are quite INcapable of living independently in servile society a certain ex-brother-in-law of mine. I have had bad experiences with single mothers trying to get with me. They chose their path. Interestingly the age difference can work as a pro as well as a con. Both men and women with single parents get to put up with responsible kids from someone else, however men are expected to pay and pay and pay for the privilege, whether in marriage or in divorce. The crowd was a mix of college guys and young professionals. If she wants to date you, she will find a way to make it work.
A single mom friend wrote to me yesterday to update me about her dating life. He has let her know how much he admires her for raising her daughter alone, and he even paid for sitters when they went out. So far, he has worked around her schedule i. He calls consistently, and there are no games. Single parents: help her out here. What do you say? Have you ever dated an older man? Should she go for it? Or, find a man closer to her age? He had a bad marriage and was busy litigating for most of his life as a lawyer so never connected to his kids the way he wanted to. His grandson and my kids love each other. His kids adore me. We love each other so much, it hurts to think of us apart. Most importantly i am a proud father raising my son who has Down Syndrome. Raising my son on my own has its challenges but with so many rewards. I would love to meet someone my age but they dont want to be tied down with a child in the home. Maxine I have read with great interest all the comments regarding age. I was married to a great guy who was 20 years older than I. We never experienced any lack of support from family and friends. We had a super marriage, which sadly ended by his sudden death. I am 40 years old. He is an amazing guy. Each day we learn more about each other and grow closer together and deeper in commitment. I am uncertain as to marrying but we are doing as has been suggested… living each day and enjoying the moment… Alberto I am an older man 55 who has just been in a 3 year relationship with a 33 year old single mom with a 6 year old girl. We are taking a time out as her Ex has been creating all sorts of problems. I am divorced 8 years after a 25 year marriage. My mom, my dads 2nd wife and 10 years younger, enjoyed a great, tight, long marriage until they passed. I saw first hand what a great marriage could be. The mom has to put her child 1st, her Ex 2nd, her job 3rd, her family 4th and then maybe me and the dog 5th. So after a hard day when she comes home angry and goes to kick the dog, she ends up kicking me. I find the younger woman intoxicating but a tremendous amount of work which usually goes unappreciated. Being older I can tolerate it longer. Most guys her age want no part of this world. That is why the older guy works for her. He is just easier to deal with. If woman would treat their man better and give him a higher status in their life, maybe life could be better for everybody. Of course I might be sounding selfish. Its hard, though, to be at the bottom of the list. My kids are number one, at the same time that my older boyfriend is the same. I sympathize, but you desrve to be higher up on the scale. After a probably not so good marriage, you should be special and at the top of the list. Take care of yourself and your needs. Intoxicating is good, but its not unusual. That was 3 months ago and i miss him so much! I say go for it, a good man is hard to find and if he makes you feel wonderful, what more can you ask! May I look at this from a different angle—that of an older man? A single older man? A single older man dad? A single older man dad father of two boys ages 13 and 16? So, here I am, 62, dad to two boys that could be, as referred to above, my grandchildren. I am not ready to be out dating again and often wonder if I ever will be. For the previous decade and a half I have associated mostly with people 20 years my junior. The women have either done daycare to work or are now returning to their careers. These women interest me because we have a lifestyle in common. She had 4 children, the oldest my age. We all got along great. My older woman relationship eventually ended over the issue of the children that I wanted. It was particularly poignant when her grandchildren began to be born. It was another 13 years before my children came along. I do think society becomes less critical or even observant once the junior partner reaches 40-45. But, like Amy, this is a problem that disturbs me. Older folks today say over the age of 50-60 are typically healthier today than they were a generation ago. Still, they are not usually healthier than those 20-30 years younger than themselves, Unless those folks do not have the advantage of access to good quality health care, which is of course a distinct possibility in some cases. I am the friend that Rachel talked about. In addition, he did tell his kids about me—and they welcome the idea. Thanks for all your feedback. It seems to suit most of us fairly well, in that it begets a continuing generation of children in reasonably good order while in our youth, and provides parents that are able to look after this young for the first few years of their lives. The comely gal in the wheelchair. They know what they like. Universally we like the look and feel of youth. So why is it that slightly older single moms should not consider older available men? There are societal prejudices that surround each party, why not see if you might just get along? A question for the ages. There are times when I think it can get a little ridiculous and wonder what the two people could possibly have in common, but to each his own. And while not wholly wrong, it might need to be put in context. This is an age old rhetorical and even Economic question. How much is your time worth? But to what end many will ask. Often as not the couple represents in their own unique ways 2 lost souls in a loveless world. Is there love there? There also commonly is a comfort and security that the younger partner may never have been able to enjoy or experience previously. As a Daughter, you have a better than 50% likelihood of being an Adult caregiver for another Adult family member before the age of 50 or so. Probably about a 70% chance of doing so by age 60 or so. We sometimes live far too long as humans. Strangely enough, this is a completely rational choice. Often love is not based on such coolly rational calculations. Truth be told they may want to reflect on this cruel fact. Most are well hidden afflictions that people suffer from in silence, almost appearing normal. They have higher rates of morbidity and mortality for almost every age cohort. Now I say this as a happily married man. This was once among the least common words on the internet, BTW. I know quite a few married couples. Many of them were afflicted at young ages. In tragic car accidents one while being parked , in sporting accidents, in shooting incidents, in wars. Most of these folks have suffered greatly, and yet the love remains and burns brightly. For that youngish family almost broken by having several lovely severely autistic children who are loved so deeply that their entire lives are cared for moment by moment by their loving parents. Cross country, by caravan. Unfortunately aging and disability are a part of life. They can truly strike any family at any time. We can run from it, we can hide from it, but eventually it will find almost all of us at inopportune times, and almost wholly or partially unprepared. Like I said at the start, this is fundamentally an economic decision. How much is your time worth, really? How long can love really last with disability? Not uncommonly this is indeed a very foreshortened time. But I wish more people realized this and appreciated it. Your life may very well depend on this in the future. Just some very long winded thoughts here. He has a son who has graduated college, and now two stepchildren in grammar school. Sometimes HE says he feels a bit strange starting over with a family after he thought he was done… On the flipside, I know an older gentleman who married a young woman who was 30 years younger. His grown children disapprove and refused to socialize with them together. It was hard on them when holidays and other major events came around. Jenny It seems that at one point I migrated toward older men. I want the stability and comfort that I did not find with my same age ex-husband. In one relationship the man was about 25 years my senior the other 30 years my senior. The first, fear that his children who were my age and older would strongly disapprove. Third, being 34 at the time, I would have ended up as a caretaker much sooner than I would have wanted. Our time together would realistically only have been a short time. I feel that maybe if I had been really in love all these issues would not have mattered but they did and so I ended both. Now I am in a relationship with a man who is my age and he is stable and secure. I realized that I do not have to look for an older man to find these qualities. I just have to look for the right person, regardless of age. Legal Editor Mom My husband was the same age as me and I said that after my experience with him, I would definitely be going much older or much younger. When you love someone, you accept them for who they are. If you were with him and loved him in spite of a reason like that, would you take care of him? She should enjoy herself. Sometimes we just need a nice guy to pamper us — tell her to just go with the flow and follow her heart. I dated a man who was 10 years older than me he was 38. I passed an opprotunity to date a man 20 years older who is a great guy and a good friend. And even one who was 13 years older. Not to say that it will happen, but the chances of having to take care of an aging partner are huge.
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